Ashes.

Last week was difficult for me. I was feeling very insecure, uncertain of the future, disheartened, hurt, desperate, confused, and trying to grasp the reality I was living in. I was trying very hard to keep God at the center of the mobile that I call my life, but being blindsided by something you never expected makes that all the more difficult. My enemy takes every opportunity he can get to take some ground out from under me regardless of whether it's an inch or a mile, but the more I allow him to do so, the more I lose sight of the hope, the grace, and the love I get to live in through the victory won for me on the cross. I'm not trying to be 'religious' or 'shove my religion on you' or anything like that. Since this is my blog, though, I'm going to express myself--and that includes expressing how I feel about my relationship with an all-powerful, star-breathing God who cares enough about me to give me new mercies every single day and give me relationships that I don't deserve.


But I digress.




Music has always been an essential outlet for me. There is a song for just about every significant event in my life--my first real best friend... the first show I ever performed in... the sleepless nights spent at a friend's house... the moment I realized I actually liked country music... a first kiss... falling in love. Every song has a memory attached to it.That is one reason I chose to add a playlist to this blog.


I can breathe.
I can let go. 
I can connect.


Frankly, music makes me feel.
A friend of mine once said, "Every move of God is marked by the music it creates." I agree one-hundred percent.


Everyone has a different relationship with God. Some people hate him, some are obsessed with him, some think he's only a judge, some take him too lightly, and some don't take him seriously enough. I honestly believe God uses music as one of his tools to connect with & encourage me.


One of my closest friends made two 30-minute tracks of nothing but worship music and introduced the rest of Uprising to it last Monday. It was something that I really enjoyed, but I didn't realize how thankful I would be for it until that night when I was challenged with some circumstances that I wasn't sure how to handle. In the whirlwind of seeking comfort and working my way towards authentic forgiveness I turned to God especially through music. Listening to the mix, I started comprehending lyrics instead of just singing them.


Lyrics that hit me especially hard were from Our God by Chris Tomlin.


Out of the ashes we rise.



Such inspiring lyrics, but until last week I hadn’t ever stopped to think about their meaning. 
I’ve come to the conclusion that if there are ashes, then there must have been a fire. We can’t rise from the ashes of our lives without first living through the fires that produce them.

“I’ve told you all this so that trusting me, you will be unshakable and assured, deeply at peace. In this godless world you will continue to experience difficulties. But take heart! I’ve conquered the world.”




"Take heart! I have conquered the world."